Unbelievable!

Why do babies have to die, it is not right. Just not right. I read a line written by a dad to another dad and mom who are loosing their baby and he said: "Love on that little girl because the memories are what you will hold on to, not the struggles!" That struck me. Making memories, and living, the struggles will fall to the wayside. It is unbelievable to me that babies have to die. Why? They are innocent, pure, love. They have their life ahead of them. It makes me so confused and frustrated. My mind wants to make sense of things, and this is something I can not make sense of. Lots of cuss words come to mind, but no sense comes to mind. None of us are promised another breath. It makes me want to live in this moment, making decisions that enable as much time as possible to be with my lovely kiddos and dear husband. To enjoy their company, bask in our relationships and love and family because I want to live without any regrets. I can not say I have none at this point, I have some not so proud moments, times I have gotten frustrated. Abby calls it "snapped' because I will say, "Sorry I am snapping so much" and then I will have some lame excuse as to why I have "snapped". LAME! Life is hear to live, I made Jason get this Apple pie at Costco, because it looked good to him, and he said, "Nah, we don't need it, its excessive" I said, "get the PIE! Life is to live, lets enjoy it and eat an Apple pie, why the heck not!" Best pie, so good. But we need to retrain ourselves to live. That is my goal. Sense I will never make sense of the things of the world that I can not make sense of I will keep putting one foot in front of the other and living, loving my kids, and looking heavenward for answers.

why do I love or hate blogs.....

I started this blog years ago, and hardly ever kept up on it. For one, who has time really to do it, and do it well. I know many amazing women who do and are very good at what they do with it. But seriously, at the end of the day it is not likely that I have a ton of amazing wisdom to share or moments to reflect on thoughtfully. I am too tired! Part of it is, it has to become a habit. Yeah, let me go ahead and add another thing to my list I am thinking right now. You never know. Maybe it wont stick, maybe it will. Only time will tell. In some ways I love blogs, a venue to share thoughts, without any arguments like Facebook, allows for some interaction with comments, but it is more of a one way street. I like reading blogs that lift me up, that encourage me, that give me good ideas, good recipes. Then, dreadfully, there are the blogs that just make me think, boy, I am like the total worst most boring lame person in the world. The blogger has these amazing pictures that look professional, amazing stories, from what I can tell a perfectly clean house (HA!) and just the most perfect darn life you ever did see. She can kiss my ass. Just kidding. But yeah, those blogs fully get me down. We compare ourselves with eachother and that is so damaging. I remember once at a MOPS meeting (you know those right) they were talking about how we compare our private life inside our home to other public life, like what they look like all fixed up for a get together and we are like what....you blow dry your hair in the 100% humidity! Yeah, no, it is probably not been washed in 3 days or 5 days who knows, and her kid finally took a long enough nap for her to finally do something for herself. Who the heck knows, but it is hard to see others that look like they just have this whole life thing, this whole mom thing all figured out. And that friends, is what I hate about blogs. So, the lesson for me is to read the ones that inspire me, and mentally burn the ones that get me down. For some reason our human nature makes it hard, because we keep wanting to turn to look at the train wreck, we want to see what fabulous thing they did today, how perfect her kids look, how amazing her life simply is. And it's not, and you tell yourself that, but you look just one more time. A friend once told me when I told her I do this, and I hate it, she said I had to replace it with something else that I can choose to do instead. I need to listen to her. :) I will try and blog reality in my life. I may come across one day that things are perfect....just know, they are not. It just so happened that day that things went my way and I was able to pull it all together. By the next day you may just see a mess on the page and remember I am so on the journey trying to figure it out and there is no way I will have it all together any time soon. My goal in life: to be an amazing grandma and have it all figured out by then. :) stay tuned for that. By then blogs will be so 2012 and laptops non existent. So, I hate blogs and love them and you might love mine or hate it. One more reason I love it, for myself anyway. I went back and read some old ones I had written. I loved it, it was like a time machine that brought me right back to that moment. It was a tangible way to see where God has taken us in the last 5 years. That was so cool and so priceless. As for now I am getting over a cold, Abby and I are trying to figure out what homeschooling means to us and how it works best for us, Boston is cutting more teeth, good grief almighty, and Jason is heading off to Cedia Expo in Indiana in 2 days. We have our work cut out for us, I must say. On the other side of the coin, our house is peaceful, my kids are sweet most of the time, our view is killer, my husband is a hard working loving guy who puts us first, we have a zillion things to be thankful for. So I will stop reading lame blogs and replace it with blogging real life. xoxo

Back home...

Well, we have been home for quite a few weeks now, but it sure does take a while to settle back in after a nice long visit in California. This time we were able to make part of it a 'real' vacation. That was SO much fun and we will do it again. We usually spend all our time and money just going from family to family visiting. It is nice to be together with them, but the 3 amigos (us 3) had a really special time together. We went to the mountains for a few days, got a cozy cabin

The first night we had our good friends Nathanael and Jeanine, Chloe and Hudson to be our neighbors.

The second night we adventured around looking for 'good' snow. Abby said "I want the fluffy snow" he he he. So Jason, the amazing dad that he is, found her the best snow they had anywhere on that mountain. :)


Then came one of the most fun time we have had together...DISNEYLAND!!!!! Oh Abby, she is a thrill-seaker! She loved all the fast fun rides the best. Tower of Terror, Space Mountain, Big Thunder Mountain, The Matterhorn! All her favorites!!! We had just a blast.






Well, now we are back to real life, although our real life is pretty good compared to so many who are going through so much. I feel overwhelmed in our blessings. Even when I do have a hard day (like yesterday) I just think about how much we have and how little I really need to worry about. To think that some people don't have clean water to even drink! It puts it all back into perspective.
I miss my sister and Colin, Ally and Shelby every day. Here they are my special kiddos:


More again soon, I hope. The next post will be about Adventures in Pre-School, since we are starting to have some...

Well...I already messed up. posted blog to wrong site!

I am kind of a not smart blogger. That is one of the problems. Should I start blogging again? Let me post a few pics of this Summer. Abby continues to grow and be my world. I love watching her grow and learn.

Long Time no Post!

I have not posted in so LONG. Sorry. Well, Abby is 2 now, so fun. This is one of my favorite ages. I love 8-10 months old, and I love 2! She is past a really hard stage, which is good. We had a great day this weekend going to the grocery store together. That used to be so hard for about 6 months, now she is SO good. She shops too, with her purse and keys and money. She picks out things she likes and follows me or sits in the cart. This weekend we went to the other side, which was nice but kind of too much driving. It's a long story. She is just growing into a great person, funny, caring, loving and just a joy to be around.
Jason got a Van for work. It was a huge blessing and very crazy how it worked out. It only has 5500 miles on it! Crazy. We are plugging along in life. Here are a few pictures from vacation and more recent...

Ok-Finally downloaded pics!

So, here are a few more pics as of late. Some are the county fair, others shopping with mama, and some just hanging out. All of these are within the last month, so this is current. Ok~I will try to blog a video next.

New Blog in da house!

Hi friends, guess what? Jason finally has his own business blog!
Please visit it when looking for product reviews and all things tech in the world today.
I am so glad he is doing this!!! Our new t.v. is on it too, which is kind of fun. I can not help that he HAS to have it! It is big and beautiful and I do love it too. I have grown to see why a really awesome t.v. is worth some $$$.

Here it is...
http://integraltech.wordpress.com/

Aloha!