Sunday, October 21, 2012

Unbelievable!

Why do babies have to die, it is not right. Just not right. I read a line written by a dad to another dad and mom who are loosing their baby and he said: "Love on that little girl because the memories are what you will hold on to, not the struggles!" That struck me. Making memories, and living, the struggles will fall to the wayside. It is unbelievable to me that babies have to die. Why? They are innocent, pure, love. They have their life ahead of them. It makes me so confused and frustrated. My mind wants to make sense of things, and this is something I can not make sense of. Lots of cuss words come to mind, but no sense comes to mind. None of us are promised another breath. It makes me want to live in this moment, making decisions that enable as much time as possible to be with my lovely kiddos and dear husband. To enjoy their company, bask in our relationships and love and family because I want to live without any regrets. I can not say I have none at this point, I have some not so proud moments, times I have gotten frustrated. Abby calls it "snapped' because I will say, "Sorry I am snapping so much" and then I will have some lame excuse as to why I have "snapped". LAME! Life is hear to live, I made Jason get this Apple pie at Costco, because it looked good to him, and he said, "Nah, we don't need it, its excessive" I said, "get the PIE! Life is to live, lets enjoy it and eat an Apple pie, why the heck not!" Best pie, so good. But we need to retrain ourselves to live. That is my goal. Sense I will never make sense of the things of the world that I can not make sense of I will keep putting one foot in front of the other and living, loving my kids, and looking heavenward for answers.